Endure suffering
December 8, 2007
"Just as Jesus suffered, was despised, rejected, hated and falsely accused; we can also expect to suffer, be hated, have our message rejected and be falsely accused." there are times i cry especially when i'm alone at home. kasi bumabalik sa mind ko ang mga problems, sufferings at persecutions i've had from the past up to present. when my father abandoned us that i have to study & work at the same time (resulted to not finishing college), when we're still living in our house with my tita… how she despised my mother, ung paglo-lock nya sa min sa haus that we can't enter my room and go to the CR, be falsely accused that resulted sa pagpapalayas nya sa min sa haus (the most unforgettable event in my life that hurt me so much). on & off ang relationship namin with her. minsan kasi mabait sya at pag di nya nagustuhan kilos mo galit na naman sya. matagal sya mag-forgive as in parang she will let u suffer first.
there are so many things in my life that made me ask God why it ever happened to me. i've known Christ since i was 7yo. i think i behaved naman well when i was still young. i studied hard and got excellent grades to please my parents. never akong sumali sa mga gulo or away ng mga bata kahit nung lumaki na ko. di nga ko nag-boyfriend hanggang mag-college ako. but still my efforts didn't pay off.
nagalit ako sa sarili ko. i had relationships with different guys. di din nagtagal mga relationships na yon. ang duration: 3 days, 1 week, 1 month, and the longest is 4 years pero di ko na mabilang how many times kami nag-break! because there's no love. i was just looking for a companion. who will stick by me and never leave me. and who will be loyal to me. pero i was hopeless. i thought i'll never find LOVE. i became desperate.
i know and i believe that GOD is love. He never fails. He's always been there for me … as in always! but i'm not a hypocrite to say naman that i don't want a MAN. Of course, i want someone to love me and to love back.
that's why i leave everything to GOD. kasi i don't want to look for that MAN na eh. so tired na after so many tears i've shed. after so many painful experiences i've been through.
but not long enough, the LORD gave me someone who qualifies in some of my requirements. hindi naman sya perfect pero he is what i want and needed in my life. that man became my husband.
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